Well, shit. Shit fucker fuck. Cancer. Woo daddy…. Cancer…
Okay – well – you know, here we go. It’s a thing. It’s a thing. It’s not a game over thing. It’s a thing we have to deal with and fight and we will. We’ll fight it.
Well…, actually, no.
No, we won’t fight. I won’t fight it. I don’t have it. She has it. My friend. And anyway, I’m 3,000 miles away from her. So, you know, she’ll be fighting it and I’ll be way the f’ out here wanting to rip my hair out (oh jeeeeeeez, no hair – nice!) because I feel bad about the whole stupid mess. I feel bad! I feel badly…. Oh how I’d love to deliver her a lasagna (‘cept she hates lasagna), and do her laundry and clean up the kitchen and drive her kids to get ice cream and sit with her while the chemo drips into her body and hold her hand or just do nothing at all but sit there quietly with her and read a magazine while our minds are a million miles away! But, I really am a million miles away, well 3,000 miles away. And I don’t yet have the lifestyle where I can jump on a plane and spend a weekend and then run back to my responsibilities.
What can I do?…. She is my friend. This feels big and I feel helpless…
Please God!!!! Dear God, please…! Guide me! What can I do? How can I help her? What can I do?! Yes – Oh, oh yes, I’ll pray. Of course I will. I am! That works. Prayer works, yes, I know it does. But, come on – isn’t there something else I can do? A book I can send her? Or write? Or a T-shirt? Or how about some candy or …
She doesn’t need that shite from me. Lame. FALSE. SO – NOT US!!!
Yeah, yeah… Of course… I mean, yes, that really is ‘us.’ I mean… That’s what we’ve always done – made each other laugh… Laughter. Belly aching, side-splitting laughter! That is us! So, I can try to make her laugh. I will make her laugh. That I can do! And, no, I won’t say it’s the best medicine and all that bullshit because we’re talking chemo and radiation and triple negative stuff and stages and all that… BUT – we will laugh and I will cherish every giggle. And maybe I can still toss in a pink t-shirt and some crappy magazines and ‘medicated’ chocolate…? Yeah. Yeah… I’ll do that.
So, there you go my dear old friend.
Laugh it up.
And I’ll talk to you tomorrow. And the next day.
All my love, MM
PS – My friend turned me on to the lady pictured above. Ain’t nobody NOT got time for this video. Enjoy: https://youtu.be/zGxwbhkDjZM